It annoys me when I hear our current climate referred to as “politics as usual.” This is not politics as usual. Going back a few election cycles (remember that time?), I could have conversations with friends and family who felt differently than me and it didn’t threaten the livelihood of that relationship.
2020 is different. The stakes are higher, and so are the tempers. Is this new? Or have we always been stewing in this same pot, the temperature of which has been gradually rising for decades?
I also take issue with another misused phrase - difference of opinion. It’s important to respect differences of opinion. It’s also important to call out when “differences of opinion” are actually harmful.
It’s one thing to not like when your food touches on your Thanksgiving dinner plate or to think the Steelers are better than the Eagles.
It’s another thing altogether to oppose same-sex marriage when you have an LGBTQ+ family member you love. Or to back legislators who actively make it harder to be female (by opposing measures for equal pay, access to reproductive health care, etc.) when you have female family members for whom you truly want the best. Or to say “love thy neighbor” and help those in need, but suddenly immigrants fleeing dangerous circumstances with their children on their backs don’t fall into that category.
It’s like suddenly all of those asterisks are out of hiding.
Love thy neighbor.*
*but only if they look like youStand up for yourself.*
*though there are limitations if you are femaleEveryone is deserving of love.
*though your “lifestyle choice” is an issue
Family is a delicate balance I’ve yet to master. There are heaps of memories steeped in love and good intention. I’m having a hard time reconciling those memories, those past truths, with current choices. There is a disconnect from the messaging to the actions that is problematic. Make it all make sense to me. How does one get from Point A to Point B with morals still intact?
Spoiler: You don’t.
Here’s something else you don’t get to do - you don’t get to profess one thing, act in contradiction to it, and have it go unnoticed.
What I’m getting at is this, your family is a group of people who are supposed to have your back. They are the people who are supposed to love you, no strings attached. Sometimes those “differences of opinion” feel a lot like strings.
Look, I know this is an oversimplification of a bigger, far more complex issue. I’m not so foolish to think my take here is the final say on it. Not even close. Like my last post, this is something I’ve been mulling over for a long time and I welcome the discourse. Politics is one of those topic areas you are supposed to avoid at work, but this is family or friends who might as well be family. If you can’t have real conversations, if you can’t be your authentic self, what’s the point? Though I still reserve the right to refrain from conversations that are unproductive.
Next week is the long-awaited election. I want it to hurry up and get here so I can know what kind of stressed out I need to be: Stressed about another four years of destruction and divisiveness; or stressed about the unknown next phase of our country, the Reconstruction if you will.
Next Tuesday I will vote with care for the lives of people I love. I will vote based on the belief that every human being is worthy of dignity and respect. I will cast my ballot with my morals still intact.
What are you doing to keep yourself sane as we build up to November 3rd? I’m watching cheesy Halloween movies. I’m also making my election day plan, should there be long wait times and unwelcome shenanigans. If you already voted, good on you! If you are voting in person next week, what does your voting plan look like?
Find more voting information and resources:
If you live in Pennsylvania: www.votespa.com